Not quite a review of “defenders”. Everything is bad

This time I decided to tell you about such a masterpiece of Russian cinema as defenders. Someone watched him, someone is not, but everyone heard about him. If you still have hopes to look at it at Blo-ray, I advise you not to read further (except, perhaps, the last paragraph), in order to avoid random spoilers. I am not quite a review to everyone else, but rather my feelings and experiences after watching an art blockbuster. The mood is good, the text was written in a playful form, so don’t judge strictly.

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“Avengers” in Russian.

“No, well, this is not suitable,” I cried out once again. “How can you make a movie without a production, without a plot, without acting, without special effects … and there are many more without anything else?”. Excuse me, it was boiled, but about everything in order.

When Sarik Garrinovich Andreasyan announced “Our answer to the Avengers”, I did not wait a lot, but there was some hope for an adventure action movie, albeit not the highest level. The director of the earthquake was noble. We have a four people with super-ability: one has super-sobs, the other has invisibility, the third has a transformation into a beast, the fourth … well, you understand. They received their abilities due to secret experiments in the Soviet Union, when in the midst of the Cold War, the government tried to create superhumans. There was a fourth and supervicture – the head of the same experiment to whom our heroes try to avenge his deeds.

The actors were selected very well. Here you have Alexander Nevsky from the film of the same name and Lisa from the Secrets of the Institute of Noble Maidens … But, as they say, something went wrong.

My first doubts appeared already at the beginning of lowdeposit-casinos.co.uk the viewing, when on the screen I saw the credits and … a song in English. I repeat, in the patriotic film, the title song in English, you feel a catch? The second bell rang when the name of the film was shown to me twice. Yes, yes, you did not rush, the first time the word “defenders” flashed after the credits and the second-after the introductory scene. I don’t know how you, but I do not remember the second film, so brazenly advertising at the very beginning of the show.

Further more. We were shown a bad 3D schedule and weak special effects. And although the film is made in Russia, we all know that we also have wonderful studios, some are so good that they send their work abroad. But if not a strong place, then the actors could be tried? By no means the game of actors is even worse than the effects. They not only do not try, but it seems that they do not understand why they are here. It feels like almost the entire film was shot in one double: reservations, facial expressions and gestures – everything is bad from hand.

The plot heroes are also not revealed. No one says where they came from and how they hid during wanderings, what and with whom they lived. Of course, the screenwriter has “insights” when the leader suddenly begins to talk about his daughter, or enters the temple and prays about something for a long time. But they are so inept and clumsily sewn into the plot that the mind immediately rejects them, like something unnecessary and inappropriate. Where is Marvel and his single films, with the disclosure of the character of each character before assembling all the heroes together. Do not expect this from the defenders, the principle acts here: we will throw everyone in a heap, and there it will be tied up.

Scundant not to the place of Slow-Mo, terrible operator work, soundtrack, directorial work … everywhere hopeless darkness. For such films, people love to sleep in a movie, waking up only for a second to understand that nothing has changed and plunge into an even deeper sleep.

I personally remember only one scene – receiving the heroes of super costumes. It was really fun to watch how the actors make up and “joke” in front of the cameras. And all because the full -length rolled into a real circus at the end, and in this episode of the clowning in the plot it came in handy, and the actors went into their rut.

Finally I will say a few more words. Never, hear, never watch this creation. Do not think if your good mood and contents of the stomach are dear to you. All reviews are full of stamps “The Worst Film in History” and … perhaps they are right in some ways. The film is really an indicator, how not to shoot. And only in this interpretation does it have value. But at the end of the film there is a hint of continuation … No, thanks, I’d better go to review Elastiko.

The best comments

And I got pleasure from the film. Moreover, he came to me much better than a “suicide squad”, for example. Of course, this is a fairic scribe, but as they said above – everything is so bad that even good. I laughed.

And yes, I liked the acting of an invisible girl. In my opinion, the actress forgot to say who she plays, so she tried to portray something for a whole film. At some point, the expression on the face changed three times, and never got into the situation)) it seems to me that it is cute and funny. Although, a blonde with short hair and the main villain annoyed a little. The first has the whole film, the expression as if the cucumber in the anus was stuck (at first it is ridiculous, but how much it is possible?!), the second generally mantant with a mental disorder is similar, brr. Well, the human person could be better. After the dude began to move something about “if I remain forever a bear, take care of my child” I began to skip all the dialogs with him. Why is he trying to seem serious when such tin is around)))

And yes, about the “worst film in history” – too loud phrase, not particularly meaningful)) I saw Kinzo much worse than “defenders”))

The first thing that came to mind is a wedding vase.Director Thierry Zeno. Better, I will see the second time “defenders”, and I will also refuse rewinding))

Crazy farmer runs around the farm naked and raping a pig. Sometimes he watches for hours how chickens copulate, rolled the wheel on the farm and just rejoices in life. Когда свинья родила от фермера поросят, он начинает ревновать их отцовской ревностью к матери и в конце концов вешает всех. After that, he shows the dead piglets a pig and kills it, and then burns himself in the ground with his lover … Before that, eating his stools.

The second thing that came to mind is various kinds of horror with a penny budget (I don’t remember the names at once), where the plot and acting sometimes do not even reach the “defenders” 🙂

Yes, yes, annoying moments noticeably outweigh. And the film itself from the first minutes clearly makes it clear that it is shit. For some reason, the man-earracks were especially enraged. But the visual, in places, was entertaining.

I’m waiting for the sequel, it was not for nothing that I read the comics, I watched the film, the prologue of the book took off for introductory purposes. Bad cinema, but so bad that as many as 13 out of 10.
PS Ksenia Pressak is more relief than Bats.